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PostPosted: Wed Jan 17, 2018 12:36 pm 

Joined: Mon Feb 04, 2013 7:28 pm
Posts: 194
Location: West Coast
We are doing some of the same and it is tough. Sometimes you have to put yourself first. Your bikes aren't going anywhere but you are not going to be around forever. Take some time for yourself and work on your stuff. Its good therapy. Caregivers are special individuals who usually step up when no one else will. I have not turned a wrench since Sept. because of things like this. I have 4 bikes torn apart and I find it is time to make time to fix my stuff for my own sanity. I did two small steps on my build the other day and it helps. Part of the problem is that by the time we get done helping the family member I am too tired to go out to the shop. I am now going to schedule shop time that I can count on in the mornings when I'm more awake and active. Something to think about.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 17, 2018 3:36 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jul 12, 2011 11:39 am
Posts: 78
Location: Cleveland, Ohio
This thread is full of sage advice man. Tough that this can't be taught and in most cases needs to be experienced to truly appreciate the littlest of things. Great thoughts about scheduling time. My days have been really long pushing 16 to 18 hours most of the time between work and looking after my own family, brother, mom, and dad.

Good people are out there, my neighbors have shopped for my dad, brought meals, taken in his garbage cans, shoveled his drive, given him rides places etc...its neat to see in today's world. I know that someday I will not have my folks, and as tough as that is to face, I want them to know I am there for them now, and I want to know personally that I did all I could to care for them.

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"Talk about pissing your money away. I hope you kids see what a silly waste of resources this was...He worked really hard, Grandma...So do washing machines."


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 18, 2018 2:22 pm 

Joined: Mon Feb 04, 2013 7:28 pm
Posts: 194
Location: West Coast
Just to let everyone know, to put someone in assisted living or full care nursing type facility costs between 5-12K a month depending on how much help the person needs. The govt assistance doesn't kick in until you are down to your last 2K of assets so you have to be totally broke to get help. It is a huge money drain and a big business for them. A person can work all their lives and have to drain everything just to make the system work. It sucks.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 18, 2018 4:54 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jul 12, 2011 11:39 am
Posts: 78
Location: Cleveland, Ohio
H-nube...you are spot on. My mom's care is extensive. My dad does everything for her. The facility she is at is wonderful but costs 10K/month. Dad's footed that out of pocket because she thinks she's at home its that nice. Mom needs to actively participate in therapy for any sort of benefit assistance which is a challenge. Dad's working hard to get back into a position to help. As good as those places are, they are a business that sees your end of life as a money jar and they will bleed you till you have nothing left.

So sad. I think the ancient Inuit's would float you out on the ice when you were deemed unproductive so you can move onto the afterlife via a polar bear snack.

_________________
"Talk about pissing your money away. I hope you kids see what a silly waste of resources this was...He worked really hard, Grandma...So do washing machines."


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 24, 2018 2:05 pm 

Joined: Mon Feb 04, 2013 7:28 pm
Posts: 194
Location: West Coast
Hang in there red cloud 1 and really try to make time to go out in your garage and do something even though it is small. I found my kickstand spring the other day that had been missing since the bike was disassembled (years ago) and it felt like a huge victory! It popped on and the kickstand now actually does something. Now I can take the bike off the workstand and actually mount up the pipes! Another small step in the process. That's the kind of personal therapy you need in your life too.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 02, 2018 4:24 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jul 12, 2011 11:39 am
Posts: 78
Location: Cleveland, Ohio
Found a couple nights in the shop recently and its tough to get over the funk. One of those nights I just turned around and went back in the house and went to bed. Lately I've latched onto and realized how much internalizing and compression of stress has been going on which translates into lethargy and not wanting to even be in the shop. I fired up the wood stove, and kept walking around lookin' at stuff that needed to be done, piles here and there, trays of misc bolts nuts, etc from other projects...I forced myself to clean up these little bin piles, screw driver bits, springs, etc. and before you know it four hours went by, I found my groove, fixed a couple things and it felt great.

Thanks again for all of the encouragement and good advice. A couple more nights out there and I'll actually have some room to move and work.

Tonight's our first annual groundhog day party--having some family over, got some sweet vermouth and lemons...Love the movie with Bill Murray, probably seen it over 100 times. My dad is clear to drive as of yesterday and for a change is going to make his way over with my brother. Mom's doing well in therapy. For now, life seems pretty harmonious. I just need to decompress all of the pent up months of stress, apologize to my family a lot for my poor attitude and misplaced anger and frustration.

cheers

_________________
"Talk about pissing your money away. I hope you kids see what a silly waste of resources this was...He worked really hard, Grandma...So do washing machines."


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